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Friday 2 January 2015

The Good Girl is Fake

Artist : Polly-is-a-good-girl (Paulina)Source :DeviantArt 

India is obsessed with the idea of a traditional girl. Good-natured , sweet , respectful , modest , shy , obedient ( parents and then husband and in-laws ) *insert adjectives here*.

Just like every other girl , I too was raised amidst these societal norms. While we are young we are taught to be polite , respectfully dressed , sit closed legged and not speak unless spoken to.  Trained like show dogs. Now that I ponder on it , and even observe some of my female family members , this regime that was practised has successfully managed to narrow thought process and individuality. We cultivate good manners and obedience only to have minions. Girls who break away from this regime as by default are labelled as 'loose' and IF they have parents who support their expressiveness, it's abysmal parenting,

I am one of those girls. Everyone who knew me in my college days , would remember I had taken my rebellion much further. I dyed my hair an unnatural shade of red , wore dark intense make up everyday and got pierced in as many places as I could. I was definitely not loved for this. Again , the judgements ran free and wild. It hurt my feelings too when a large contributing part of these judgements constituted of women too. I looked like a walking - talking negative influence even if I was void of any 'habits'

Till date that has been my biggest social experiment , also the most important transitional point in my life.

 Even though Indian youth is striving for an open minded society , what cannot be ignored is the hidden number of girls whose fate is pre-decided. They get moved around like chess pieces , unable to voice their dreams and aspirations due to the fear of being seen as disobedient or worse still - disowned. An ideal Indian girl. The perfect beti (daughter) . The sanskaari bahu ( daughter-in-law). The hear- all , do-all slave.

Criticism and bitter remarks come regardless.  No one sees the good deeds or the intelligence in a promiscuous party girl. Had she worn a kurta and a bindi on her forehead , may be then. Which also is strange hypocrisy because at times, a traditionally dressed  girl is confused to be old-school , reclusive, nerdy , boring.  Either way , both cases are subjected to the incorrect norms of society.

So where did this concept of 'Good Girl' come from? and why are we subjected to these false standards and unwritten rules?

The 'Good Girl' is as fake as barbie.

خُدا حافِظ

* a similar post called ' Why I'm a Woman o Questionable Character' was posted earlier. 


  1. Came across your blog via Indiblogger. I love the stuff you have up here, especially the book reviews and your opinions. :-)

  2. Thank you Payal :)
    Keep reading!
    Much love

  3. We tend to give too much importance to labelling done by society. Unfortunately, who we are is determined not by what we think about ourselves, but by what others see/want to see in us. So we all build an image and try to sustain it. Some of us might go against the tide and show a side that beats expectations, as a mark of rebellion. Here again, we end up 'becoming' what others see in us.

    Nice post. Do drop by mine.


    1. What's that written in Urdu/Arabic? _da something?

  4. You are so right CRD. What hurts the most is when they point fingers at the parents or fill their ears with false rumors about their daughter. It's really unfair to them.
    Thankfully my family know me and my brother before believing any hear-say.
    I do check your blog!
    Thank you for your support! Means a lot to me.

  5. Rock on girl. Have been having difficulty promoting the post on IndiBlogger - Still trying...meanwhile...shine on!

  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

  7. Our society is great paradox.The concept of good girl has come out of this hypocrisy.A girl who decides to live her life,breathe her fundamental freedom,is independent,rebels against suppression n outdated traditions,dresses the way she feels comfortable can never be a good girl,that is our society,a great paradox.

    1. Truer words have never been said.
      So glad you feel the same way!

  8. Mehreeen!!! 'Good Girls are as fake as Barbie!!' I Love that Line!!!

    If i may...this is a very complicated topic...not saying your wrong and im right or vise versa...
    But what is Good or Bad?? can there be GOOD if there is no BAD?? i really dont know that answer.... all i can tell u for sure is that i know what happiness is and how it feels like cause i have faced sadness too...None can live without the other..

    What few people mite take as good is taken as boring by the others...
    I remember you during your rebellion time (I guess..not been there for you during the bad times...Sorry for that)...
    But if i could be very frank with you...i guess everyone doesnt have the same mentality...maybe it was the circumstances which made you meet people who think like that...
    I remember the same Mehreen Shaikh with black hair, all shy and pretty, sitting and trying to understand P&L and trading accounts!!=P
    And also the red head who had this personality...a personality of an independent women who dint really have to prove anything about herself to people...all that smarty talks and fun loving...the explorer, the 'i have experience attitude'... i found the HOT!! Really HOT to be honest...Especially the rose Tattoo=P hehehe....but all that dint make you look bad at all...u did know the meaning of love...thats kool rite?!?

    Sometimes it is about the people you choose to be with...if they accept you for the way you are...everyone fails in that....everyone wants to be accepted by everyone...

    Anywhoooo.....Hope all is good with you...Keep in Touch!!