The Good Girl is Fake

Artist : Polly-is-a-good-girl (Paulina)Source :DeviantArt 

India is obsessed with the idea of a traditional girl. Good-natured , sweet , respectful , modest , shy , obedient ( parents and then husband and in-laws ) *insert adjectives here*.

Just like every other girl , I too was raised amidst these societal norms. While we are young we are taught to be polite , respectfully dressed , sit closed legged and not speak unless spoken to.  Trained like show dogs. Now that I ponder on it , and even observe some of my female family members , this regime that was practised has successfully managed to narrow thought process and individuality. We cultivate good manners and obedience only to have minions. Girls who break away from this regime as by default are labelled as 'loose' and IF they have parents who support their expressiveness, it's abysmal parenting,

I am one of those girls. Everyone who knew me in my college days , would remember I had taken my rebellion much further. I dyed my hair an unnatural shade of red , wore dark intense make up everyday and got pierced in as many places as I could. I was definitely not loved for this. Again , the judgements ran free and wild. It hurt my feelings too when a large contributing part of these judgements constituted of women too. I looked like a walking - talking negative influence even if I was void of any 'habits'

Till date that has been my biggest social experiment , also the most important transitional point in my life.

 Even though Indian youth is striving for an open minded society , what cannot be ignored is the hidden number of girls whose fate is pre-decided. They get moved around like chess pieces , unable to voice their dreams and aspirations due to the fear of being seen as disobedient or worse still - disowned. An ideal Indian girl. The perfect beti (daughter) . The sanskaari bahu ( daughter-in-law). The hear- all , do-all slave.

Criticism and bitter remarks come regardless.  No one sees the good deeds or the intelligence in a promiscuous party girl. Had she worn a kurta and a bindi on her forehead , may be then. Which also is strange hypocrisy because at times, a traditionally dressed  girl is confused to be old-school , reclusive, nerdy , boring.  Either way , both cases are subjected to the incorrect norms of society.

So where did this concept of 'Good Girl' come from? and why are we subjected to these false standards and unwritten rules?

The 'Good Girl' is as fake as barbie.


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* a similar post called ' Why I'm a Woman o Questionable Character' was posted earlier. 

Top 5 Books of 2014

What a fantastic year of reading! Agreed that 2014 flew by and was probably not my best year , I owe a debt of gratitude to all the literary adventures I went on which made this year endurable.

I don't , nor ever , have had any resolutions. However this year, the upcoming year precisely , I have decided to do the  ' Top 5 Wednesday ' tag starting from today. Basically , every week a new genre or theme will be added to the Top 5 Favourites list (which will have its own category on the blog) and will be posted every Wednesday .  This week's Top 5 coincidentally falls on New Year's Eve. Perfect timing I'd say ! So here are my most favourite books that I read in 2014.

5)  Every Day by David Leviathan 

This book wounded me emotionally. The helplessness of the situation , the inability to have control over life and the attachment I had with the nameless , faceless , gender-less character ' A ' was heart wrenching.  There is a slight philosophical bend underlining the plot that is not overly preaching yet gets you thinking - Can you really choose between the heart and the mind?  A full fledged review is up on the blog.

4) Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami 

A cult classic , Murakami weaves a poignant coming of age tale. Each character well-rooted and dynamic with their own internal conflicts , this is one contemporary novel that no one should miss.

3) Making Faces by Amy Harmon

I cannot talk about this book enough. Such an unexpected emotional roller coaster ride. Mostly this book revolves around the different kinds of loss we feel , especially loss of beauty and how the characters cope with it. Several points in the book make you reflect on the multifaceted aspect of 'beauty' and personal conflicts regarding it.Detailed review is up on the blog too.

2) 1984 by George Orwell

Most people who have read this book have deemed it as 'mind boggling ' or 'weird' and couldn't digest the concept. I come under the opposite category of people successfully frightened by this book. Orwell has envisioned a dyspotian world so evil and controlling that you would think even moving your arm or leg unnecessarily would get you into trouble beyond your worst nightmare. A society built entirely on fear and oppression with no way out. Hands-down a pioneer in the dystopian genre.

1) The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran

Who would have thought a 100-odd page book would hit me so hard?! My father had been pestering me to read this for a while now and since this isn't fiction, I guess that's why I took so long to get to it. BOY! Did I miss out! For something that was written in the 1920s,  this book's suitability has stood the test of time.  More than just a read , its mostly a life guide on human conditions like love , marriage , children , giving , trade , crime , laws , freedom , passion , religion , pain , death so on and so forth, it answers everything in minimum words relevant to every generation. Anyone and everyone should own a copy of this.

                                                                     *

Phew! Narrowing down your favourite books to just 5 is a real challenge. I wish I could mention each and every title that I read and loved this year.
Year-endings always manage to make me somber and reflective. This year was a real challenge for me and I am proud of being able to triumph it. Bad experiences make great life lesson and most lessons were learnt in 2014.
On the bright side , I did get my blog up and running. For all those who read my rant-y posts and support me nonetheless , I can't thank you enough.

See you all on the other side!

Love.

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Book Review : Ugly Love by Colleen Hoover

Pages :  337

Read on : Kindle

Goodreads Rating : 4.34/5

Review:  I'm not one to like a sloppy love story. Ironic, you say , as most of the books I have reviewed have been predominant romantic in element. In my justification , I pick up books that have obstacles in them. 

 

This book is about attraction, physical attraction. Tate Collins has no time for love. Miles Archer does not want love. The perfect setup for ' just sex '. Miles has two rules - Never ask about the past and Don't expect a future. They think they can handle it. But what happens when they realize they can't. * DUN DUN DUN*

Knowing my generation well , I see this as a relatable topic for most girls and guys. Some of them do successfully manage to put feelings aside completely. This book elaborates that to Tate's perspective and Miles' perspective. So you can see and comprehend what a girl in this situation is feeling and thinking and vice versa. This is not a 50 Shades of Grey archetype! It does have a very high amount of explicit content but what is poignant are the feelings that are proceeding parallel to the deeds.

The back-story of either of the characters and the reasons why they indulge is heart breaking.  Get ready to shed some tears! You will feel the pain and annoyance at the same time. The guilt looms over and  will hit you as a reader. Such a riveting read, I sacrificed sleep to finish this.  Most Goodreads reviewers have absolutely loved this book and rated it a full 5 stars. Also a nominee in this year's Goodreads Choice Awards in the Romance category.

Since the central component  of this novel is sex , this book has been placed under the new adult. Personally I feel its more suited for the adult contemporary genre. Nonetheless , every girl and guy should read this at some point. 

Final Rating: 4.5/5

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Book Review : The Nidhi Kapoor Story by Saurabh Garg

Pages :  316

Read on : Kindle

Goodreads Rating : 4.39/5

Review: I have often wondered can there ever be a fool-proof crime? What pushes a person to do the ultimate and irreversible act of killing? Just like most book lovers , I have spent several teenage years reading crime fiction and loved every moment of it.

The Nidhi Kapoor Story is no less of a page turner. Right from the first page till the end of there wasn't a single  droopy spell.

Leading actress Nidhi Kapoor is set to shoot her most anticipated film when her pets are found brutally murdered along with an  anonymous letter threatening her and her family. ACP Prakash Mohile and Rujuta Singh , a photojournalist , take lead in the investigation but soon get ensnared in the perilous events.

Like I mentioned previously , the story kicks off from the very beginning. The pace is ideal with no time wasted on dilly dally. The author has successfully managed to layer the on going incidents with some back story or history about the human and concrete characters. Every additional element is precisely in sync with the continuing  timeline sans brain wracking. Garg has left no stone unturned in his research. The Bombay film fraternity paints a glorious and extravagant  picture of their dedication in film-making masking all the filth , vulgarity , manipulation and dirty politics persisting behind the silver screen. A very raw yet refreshing expose. None of the crime scenes are short of details , gruesome descriptions which I feel is necessarily for the reader to fathom the severity of the situation.

However , As much as my love for descriptive writing goes , there are several instances when there was an abundance of detail exceeding requirement. Prakash and Rujuta tend to overthink which does diminish their intellect and made me question their competence. Since the duo were handling such a high-profile case , pressing and pestering questions , I feel ,would be protocol.  The climax was a tad bit too corny for me with all the dedication to ACP Prakash Mohile whose presence was needed but was lukewarm. The character that stood  out strongest although it might have been just a backdrop was Ronak - the Kapoor's pride and joy , keeper of all their secrets , past and present.

Overlooking that , for a maiden venture,  Saurabh Garg has packed a punch in this riveting read.  The language is kept rapid and simple .Despite being 300-odd pages long , the urge to scurry through this book in one go would be hard to suppress.

Final Rating : 3.5 / 5

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Why I'm a Woman of Questionable Character

Painting by Thomas Saliot

After a night-out , at 4 in the morning I end up at a friend's house for more drinks. Drowsiness ( or tipsy-ness) catches up. I yawn and am ready to crash.

' I have a spare toothbrush If you need one' he says,

' Oh that's alright. I have my own ' I say and pull one out of my bag.

' You have a toothbrush with you?! That means you're a slut '

' A What?!?!'

' A slut. Means you were going to crash somewhere'  he says.

Hmmmmmmmm.

So now I'm a slut just for carrying my toothbrush around on a pre-planned night-out that all my friends knew of.

Now that I ponder on it, I am in fact , as deemed , a 'slut'. I go where I like, I dress rather provocatively whenever I head out. My hair is an unnatural shade of red. I once had my eyebrow , tongue and navel pierced. Controversial personal choices decodes for 'slut' or 'hooker' by itself.
I gossip with my girlfriends about who's hot , who's cute , who's doable and who's not , and all sorts of stereotypical depraved behaviour.

If a woman has a sexual appetite or lives the lifestyle equivalent to that of a 'player' , she's a slut by default. If she's an older woman , she's a cougar. If she is wearing a fitted leopard print dress then that translate as kinkiness that could make a man's teenage wet dreams come true.

Ironically , the guy with the spare toothbrush , who might have been mostly or even half expecting sex is not labelled anything.  But I'm a slut. I'm a slut for choosing to wear red lipstick and smoldering kohl during the day. I'm desperate if I desire a male body to sleep beside me tonight.

Sadly , I have no shame, I'm not at all bothered by old-dusted-off-to-look-new title that I recently acquired. Foolishly I thought now that I'm an adult , all this would stop and prior to this there hadn't been an echo of it either.

Henceforth I shall proudly put on my proclaimed  'SLUT ' sash and crown, smoke a cigarette as I would on a normal day and ash on your misogyny-crafted shoes.

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*Disclaimer: This post is purely satirical however the catalyst incident was true to life. The post was written to highlight how hurtful it is to call a girl a 'slut' and is not a matter that can be joked about or a word to throw around casually.

I've Cheated

Have you ever started out a book and found yourself drifting after a set number of pages? We've all been there. Sometime the last 100 pages in a book really change your perspective 'Hey , that wasn't so bad'. Then you rate it 3 on 5 stars on Goodreads. A happy medium. Readable , endurable but just once.

I did hit a wall this time. It was Vikram Seth's A Suitable Boy. Yup. I cheated on a suitable boy. (pun intended). Okay . Jokes apart. This book one of the finest works in Indian Literature. Critics have loved , my friends have stated this as one of their favourite books ever. (Even tagged it on their Top Ten Books list that was circulating social media). However , I am just 700 pages deep into it and I have put it down. For now ( promise!).

I have never done this before. Yes,  I have loitered around my fair share of terrible books and still have managed to finish them in all fairness but this I felt was taking too long to reach the intensity to which it would have been a sure-fire page-turner for me.

This book is massive. 1399 pages. One of the longest works published in one volume in English. Do not mistake me, Seth is commendable poet and writer. I remember being thoroughly delighted whenever we would start learning his poems in school.  Yet I struggle.

I don't intend to pinpoint here , more to show an example. There are times when book bloggers , booktubers and even literary enthusiast have wanted to jump to the core of the book. There are time when even reading it beyond 10 pages seems like such a task. In order to avoid any bias , we dive into it regardless. Largely and sometimes even pretentiously , I have managed to  muster up all the enthusiasm I could find and decide to go on with it.

Most people would say this is completely normal and understandable. Some would say 'what's the big deal?'. I can't help but feel like I am cheating myself and the author.

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Book Review : Making Faces by Amy Harmon

Pages :  405

Read on : Kindle

Goodreads Rating : 4.46/5

               

Review: Everyone loves an underdog. I personally love it when I expect a book to be sloppy but ends up really impacting me. This was one of them. Just like Perks of Being a Wallflower , If I Stay , Letters to the Dead etc there are ample YA coming-of-age novels that have tried to twist and turn around the same or similar plot lines. As mentioned earlier on my blog , not all of them manage to successfully deliver.

I probably have digressed when I say this book , on reading the synopsis ,is not similar in story but there may be likeness on the plot front. 

The story is set in a small town from where five young men go to war and only one returns completely distort and damaged.

Ambrose Young was beautiful , strong , handsome , enough to make any girl swoon. Fern Taylor was right the opposite and has been secretly in love with him ever since she was ten. She tries her best to reach out to a ruined Ambrose knowing that his beauty is more than skin deep. The prime focus of the story is loss. Collective loss , loss of faith , loss of beauty , loss of love , loss in every explorable way possible. The reason why I put it in the league of coming-of-age novel is because it also about acceptance of difference and oneself. 

I devoured this book , all of it's 400-something pages, just in one day. 

Fair warning. This is not a happy book. I was one of those believers who thought fiction can't make me cry. Boy! Was I wrong! All the emotions and agitation felt by Ambrose and the town people is true to life. Amy Harmon's writing is simple yet powerful enough to hit nerves. Not to be confused , this book is not just a teary read. It does have it's light-hearted ,lovable moments along with it's fair share of grown up issues. I got into this book knowing and also assuming it to be just another Young Adult. After endearing this heart-tugging affair , I reconsidered  this to be more of an adult book ( May be because subconsciously I knowing YA is not always taken seriously). Considering that a book is deemed 'Adult' for high sexual content or for the age of the characters , It would be foolish to assume this book won't give you the feels if you were well above the YA age bar.

All of Amy Harmon's books are well rated and loved on Goodreads. Barring one or two , the rest of her works are rated well above a 4 with Making Face being the highest. Majority of Goodreads reviewers have rated this a 5 stars. However, I took one down for what you may think as stupid reasons - The book title and book cover. Sometimes you can''t help but judge a book by a cover. This reflects more as a romance novel at first glance. Very little in the book is connected to the title, nonetheless , I can see the deeper meaning behind it. The black and white cover does salvage it to some extent.

 Another one that I would read ,re-read and savour in the years to come.

Final Rating : 4/5

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